Okay, sorry for posting again, I try not to do more than two posts a day.
But I was thinking, (for once about non-bookish things), about being shy and timid.
I have two modes, personally.
The first, is generally the one I show at school and Jesus camp, no where else, is the giant, bubbly, outgoing girl, who will approach you and talk to you about pretty much anything.
The other which is the one I wear the rest of the time is the shy and timid human being that is trying to hide and make herself as small and unnoticeable as possible.
Despite my epic love for books and the people that write them, the way I seem on Twitter isn’t actually how I act around them.
Most book people terrify me. Whether they are simple fans, blogger, or the actual authors. I have found myself at numerous book events where I hear fans or bloggers talking about books they love and I’d love to join in, but am so worried that my opinion will be unpopular or that they’ll bring up something I haven’t read, or say something that will just make me uncomfortable, or I’m worried I’ll do that to them.
I’ve never actually met other bloggers, so I can’t say how it’ll will go around them, though they may be like a mix between authors and simple fans.
And then there are, well, authors. I derp around authors. I want to geek out so badly and talk to them so badly, ask them to take pictures with me, or just ask them a simple question, but 9 times out of 10 when I go up to them I just freeze and I forget everything I want to say or ask, and since generally I really want a picture I’ll be brave enough to ask them for that, but I feel awkward and stupid.
Two authors I can for sure, say I am not deathly scared of: one being Jodi Meadows, because… Well I talked to her a lot online, and when I met her I just talked to her even more.
The second one is Veronica Rossi, who wrote Under the Never Sky, that was at YALLFest so it only lasted a few seconds, so I don’t really know for sure how else it would’ve gone, but she was… I feel bad for putting this way, but like me she was kind of a dork, another little nerd, she was so excitable and adorable it reminded me of myself (minus adorable), and made me all the more comfortable with her.
So I… Just guess, I want people to know, people who will be meeting me Sunday at BookitCon, or maybe someday at YALLFest, or elsewhere, a majority of the time, I’m shy. You scare me. Even if I talk to you a lot.
Like Dee and Nori? I’ll be petrified to go up to them.
Authors? I feel like a nuisance.
So, when you meet me, unless somehow your shyness out does my own, I’ll probably be too afraid to approach you and will simply stand in a corner with my mom whispering to me “It’s okay, Cat.”
Now if you new me in school, that’d be different, generally I’m loud and out spoken and the opposite of who I usually am.
So, dear BookitCon, YA Book Festival authors and goers, please know this: I love you. I really want to talk to you. I’m just scared to approach you.
Worried, that I will make a HUGE fool of myself.
So… That being said… I cannot WAIT for Sunday, like I am really excited, and after I burst out of my shell, I’ll probably give all of you giant hugs, and multiple hugs, and if you’re an author I’ll probably tell you how much I admire you or how awesome you are, ask you to sign a book or my Author Note Book, and try to hug you.
I REALLY love hugs. Like a lot.
So…. If you give me time to warm up I’ll probably come around. This is just a warning for everyone Sunday and…. Basically every author, who will possibly read this.
Thank you for understanding.
Please be patient with me.