And this is the end of my journey, where I try to tell you about Glass Sword without spoiling it, but at the same time attempt to relay to you what happened.
I have put off finishing this book, for many reasons. I know of no one else that has it, thus I know of no one I can confined in.
As I read further and further into the book, the number of pages left shrunk and I knew things were going to get bad.
And then there were less than twenty. There was that sickening feeling that things were going to happen, terribly, awful things.
Thus came the ending.
Now the best way I can describe it is wanting to do something you know you can’t do.
It hurt. A lot.
I’m not actually crying tears, no. But I can assure you I feel sick, physically sick and very, very sad. Like there is a giant hole in my stomach and a pounding in my head, because I cannot believe what I just read.
Now I sit here stuffing my face with chocolate because food can make the pain go away, and suffering because I need a really long group chat about how that isn’t okay.
If you read my Ice Like Fire review, or if you read Ice Like Fire, you’d know that was like getting hit with a brick, like in the one American Horror Story gif, the “Surprise Bitch” one that everyone loves.
Now I know Victoria Aveyard can be cruel in her writing. The moment I learned she watched Game of Thrones all I could think was “This shit isn’t going to end well.”
So let me try to describe, spoiler-lessly, how the ending to the book felt.
Game of Thrones fan will understand. I am personally a fan of House Stark. I loved all of them, even if Bran’s story line makes me fall asleep at times.
And even though I had prior knowledge that Ned Stark died (and I mean even if we didn’t, it’s Sean Bean, come one), I still didn’t want it to happen.
So when I got to the end of season one, and poor Sansa was forced to watch, by the ass Joffrey, and Arya was in the crowd, hopeless to save her father, I was tearing up and all I wanted was to save Ned and give Sansa and Arya there father. I help hopeless, useless.
Another good example is The Red Wedding. Again I knew it would happen. And the dread leading up to it was unbearable.
This is worse.
Because I had zero warning as to what was to come. It was only that sense of dread. And it lingered from the moment I began the book to the last words.
There are multiple points throughout the book were I felt sick and there were some times when I actually laughed, but a majority of it was fear.
Like the first one, you’re only in Mare’s head and you can see her flaws and faults, but no one else’s true ones. Not the ones that count, not ones like Maven’s.
And a Maven sort of deal was what I was expecting.
Glass Sword is a whole different battle field than Red Queen.
Red Queen’s ending was a far more merciful one than Glass Sword.
And for those of you that have not read it: I envy you.
You meet more people in here and it is nice… I enjoyed it. But it has been overruled by the distress going through me at the moment. No matter how much I enjoyed them, this feeling of loss and pain trumps it.
No matter how I feel, this is a testament of Victoria Aveyard’s talent. I went through the book feeling as sick and hopeless or as powerful as Mare did.
Physically feeling these emotions.
This book is pure gold, and I cannot wait for the day it comes out and everyone else gets to suffer with me.
And when you do suffer this: I’m here for you. Know that I understand.
So.. Now I sit, staring at my screen, because I want to say more about how I’m falling into an endless pit of despair, and how much that ending hurts.
If you ever want to know just how much damage can be done in less than twenty pages just wait until you get your hands on Glass Sword.
Seriously there were less than twenty pages left what the actual hell?
This book is so brilliantly done I want to stab myself in the face repeatedly.
PS: if any of you know of anything that might make me feel better, please let me know, this is a notch under the feeling I got when I was at my grandpa’s funeral, gods help me.