Let’s Talk About the Hard Stuff

I don’t mean book stuff so if you’re only here for the book turn back now because I’m mad.

Now, I’m mad a lot. On a none serious note, I’m still pretty pissed McDonald’s took off the strawberry lemonade because “it’s a summer drink”. Fuck you McDonald’s it is on all season drink, strawberry lemonade NEVER goes out of season.

On a serious note, I’m made about more things.

I hear a lot of things in my school. A lot of “jokes”. About rape. About race. About disability. About genders. About sexuality. About religion.

Yeah. A lot of “jokes”.

These things are “funny”.

Some of you may know I used to be a member of the JROTC program. A lot of white kids who were fond of the N-word, which I was never able to say even when given “permission”.

One of the turning points, when I just knew I couldn’t take it anymore was when one of the upperclassmen made a rape “joke” where the victim was a child. An infant. And they all laughed. Some said, “hey man, you’re going to hell.” While chuckling nonstop.

I don’t think I ever really paid attention to the things they said. But that shook me quite a bit.

It was just so awful.

And look at me now. Angry.

It wasn’t just that they laughed at a child being raped (although that was a pretty big part of it), but that they laughed at rape at all. As if it’s some joke. Because, holding someone down, crying, begging, maybe even just paralyze with shock or fear, someone who doesn’t want to, who hasn’t given consent, is okay, a joke, funny.
Of course, they aren’t traumatized for life. No, they won’t have to live with the shame and guilt. (If you aren’t hearing my sarcasm get out, you sick and twisted person, and get help). 

Someone pokes you and you say “OMG stop raping me!”  while giggling…. Dehumanizing the problem.

I’ve always been a little unnerved by the lack of boundaries some people have. Of the few guys who’ve ever attempt to hit on me, all of them have done something that just seemed out there. No, they never touched me without my consent, but it was still something that amplified my fear.
That fear that someday somebody is going to touch me without my consent. And I won’t be able to tell anyone. Because who will believe me? I just want attention. My clothes were a little provocative. I was smiling flirtatiously. Of course, I wanted this to happen, right? For no one to believe me. To be dehumanized.

Now, please don’t mistake me. I’m don’t want you all to talk this as an “If that ever happens, please tell me.”

I want you all to realize this is an issue.

On top of that, I want you all to see and acknowledge the other issue.

At the beginning, I talked about all the “jokes” I heard. They’re part of the problem. Because people either don’t talk about it or they joke about it. And when you joke, it isn’t a problem. It’s a joke. It’s “funny”.

“Haha, rape.” “Haha, racism.” “Haha, gay.”

They aren’t people anymore. They’re a joke. Their struggle isn’t really anymore. You’ve just dehumanized them.

Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s hard. Friends make these “jokes”. It makes it harder to be friends with someone who dehumanizes people for the sake of a laugh.

It makes it hard for others to be friends with you (with me) when everything offends me.

I know this kid, who is one of the most offensive kids ever. He knew of all the things that offended me. I used to go through his phone and he’d make sure I never saw them, which was nice, but it still bothered me that they were there.

Maybe, I’ll just die alone, an angry, spiteful woman, who was always angry that she didn’t shout loud enough for anyone to listen. Or that she didn’t shout enough.

And believe me, I’m angry about all of it. I don’t understand it, I’ve never experienced it (yet). But it’s still an issue that needs addressing.

Don’t even get me started on the Confederate Flag. I’ve developed an argument in case of “It isn’t racist, it’s southern pride.” come at me auntie’s.

Please, you guys. I want peace and happiness A LOT. But it’s really hard when so many are screaming and just as many (who could help) are ignoring them.

Well, did I make sense?

-Kit Cat

PS: Like I said, I’ve never actually experienced any of this, so if you know something that may further my knowledge, please *respectfully* tell me. I want to know.

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13 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About the Hard Stuff

  1. You did make sense Kit, and I totally agree with you. In fact, I was just about to write a personal blog post about the own abuse I go through verbally throughout the years. And most of it is not even intentional either. They’re the things that come out accidentally but in the end really HURT a lot and you know it’s supposed to be a joke or whatever but somehow it still manages to gut you and make you feel like a worthless human and potato sack and –
    I digress.

    Anyway, I want to say that I’m angry with you too. Angry at how this world, and how our generation specifically can act so immature, without regards to people’s feelings. But the worst is when they refuse to OPEN THEIR EYES and they continue LIVING IN THEIR IGNORANCE AND APATHY and don’t strive to LEARN and CHANGE and HELP. That’s what makes me angry, all the time.

    But yes, lovely blog post and you have the right to be angry, always.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Kit Kat,

    I get where you’re coming from, and I agree with you that these types of jokes are dehumanizing and make working towards a solution seem impossible.

    I don’t have a lot to say how I relate to this (perhaps because high school was so long ago, #old), but “yo mama” jokes used to be THE IT THING. This was offensive to me, because you know what? I had already lost my mom, and I hated the disrespect these jokes made to the maternal figure. I know it’s not quite the same, but it seems to be related, somehow.

    But you know what, you are shouting. I hear you. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough, sometimes it doesn’t seem like anything will ever be enough, but here you have your platform and you’re preparing for the day when you will be heard. Don’t give up. I wish I had known as much about myself and what was important in the world.


    Julia

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve never gotten “yo mama” jokes. Especially in elementary, I literally didn’t understand it. My English teacher keeps trying to make it a thing, I don’t know why. You know now. Plus you’re the bomb dot com awesome. You had every right to be offended. It hurts. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Preach woman preach.

    I think you’ll see as you grow up (I’m old, so holla) those people grow the F up. It’s never been funny to me, but it was to others when I was younger. It (mostly) stops.

    Chin up. And stand up for the good. People conform when they don’t want to stick out. Sometimes that overrides what they know if good/bad. It’s not an excuse, at all, but it’s something that could play an unfortunate role.

    Like

    • I hope they do grow up. Sadly, a lot of what I see of adults is them claiming to be a “product of their era” instead of owning up to what they’re doing. Hopefully the new generations will be different, but with what I’m seeing they may be worst.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. ah, it’s hard in high school. a lot of kids don’t know how to act around difficult subjects and try to cope through “humor”. pushing the limits to see what’s socially acceptable and that sort of thing. i’ve found it’s best to firmly, but kindly, let people know it’s *not* okay and *not* socially acceptable to make these kind of jokes. if they keep at it, get more and more resolute in telling them it’s not okay, but never let it just slide. usually people get the message in the end. but then again, i’ve been around mostly conscientious people not inherently rude ones.
    anyhoo, the point is stand your ground and let it be known that these things aren’t okay. people will respect you more for in the end in my experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Agreed that the kind approach is the best method of trying to get them to stop. The most annoying thing is when you know they do it when you’re not around 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I agree with you, some people keep using humor as an excuse to be rude. They feel like it can be a pass to say whatever they want, just like “this is a free country” or “I’m entitled to my own opinion” were abused too.
    These issues are real and troubling, especially with regards to rape. I don’t know why it seems morality has hit an all-time low, but it is definitely the time to speak up. We need to stop it from becoming the norm.
    I personally haven’t encountered anyone saying these things, thankfully, but there are other issues that makes my blood boil, such as loosely calling people retarded or mongoloid or autistic. I work with these kids and whenever people use those terms to make fun of others, I feel like shoving their faces in horse dung.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Agreed. I lose it when people use “retarded” as an insult or really any disability. It makes me irrationally mad, I totally understand you with that. (My sister is in a wheelchair, I cannot with those people).

      Like

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