Discussion: How I Lost NaNoWriMo and Why That’s A Great Thing

new-nanowrimo-failure-discussion

[This is in place of a Windwitch Review. Due to school and studying, I was unable to finish it this week. It should be done by next week.]

Last year I fell into the wonderful, wonderful world of NaNoWriMo, a fun writing *competition* thing in which you try to write 50,000 words in one month, November. Last year, I ROCKED NaNoWriMo and was 100% on top of writing my story. Ten thousand words in I decided I hated it but everyone kept saying “JUST KEEP WRITING!” so that’s what I did!

Last year I wrote what I call The Guardian and it was a story that goes along with the world inside my head that has been growing for some time now, anywhere between 7 to 10 years. Last year I shared a few snippets, I think, introduced you all to some characters, I tried to get really into it, even knowing that the story would likely drastically change which it has.

This year was a little different. I’ve wanted a career in writing for a while, though I can’t say how long. The world of The Guardian and Co. has been in my head for a while, so of course, those are going to be the stories I work with the most.

Only this year, I struggled with them a little bit more than I usually do, and on top of that, I got scared.

These series of stories are stories of my heart, they’re a part of me. They are small, filled with this great characters, that I know and love, who are extensions of me, but I’ve had to make a lot of changed with them while actually writing them.

Characters.

I love building characters more than anything. When I was younger, I played Sims and I spent more time designing my Sims than I did playing the actual game. They’re clothes, they’re faces, they’re bodies, they’re personalities fascinated me more than the actual story did.

While there are stories and histories that go with these characters, they’re very small and without much substance, leaving me to have to build on it now.

And this is a problem I have with both Original Characters and my newer ones.

Plot Holes

Having been creating these series of stories for anywhere from 7 to 10 years, there’s bound to be some plot holes. I mean, there are UNIMAGINABLE sized plot holes.

A good portion of world building (and even some characterization) has been done to accommodate these plot holes. But there are still MANY plot holes that haven’t been accommodated and need to be fixed. 

To give you a small idea, I’ve currently eradicated the narrower concepts of time and some of the effects it has.

I will not go into the specifics, you may think of this what you will.

General Worry

I’ve already stated how long these have been growing in my head and how much they mean to me.

I despise talking about them in specifics (even talking about them broadly, like this, bothers me a little).

I’ve written them and rewritten them because there are so many versions of the same story and so many different outcomes.

I’ve made all of their Pinterest Boards private because I don’t want people to see them and judge them or realize how often I delete them and start over.

Often, while writing, I’ll put them on hold because I don’t have to worry about forgetting them, and just work on a side project, wondering if I actually want to write it. Do I want to put this on paper and make it real? Would I ever actually want to show this to people and  potentially try to get it published?

I mean, I do love talking to people about my stories but *in person* and it’s rare more me to find someone who’s eyes don’t glaze over when I talk about them. Or the latest reaction: concern and slight horror?

 

Nevertheless, there is a lot of doubt and struggle I feel while writing these and that’s one of the reasons I only made it to 10 thousand words before crashing and burning.

 

Now, if you’ve read this far 1. You’re loyal, I love you, come here and give me a hug. 2. You might have noticed I said one of the reasons.

I have just poured out to you a lot of my thoughts and concerns about writing these stories (I’m debating as to whether nor not I should delete it later) BUT there is another reason I did not finish NaNoWriMo.

This is the largest reason, actually overshadowing my doubt.

School.

Last year, I won NaNoWriMo. Last year, I was also in a bad place and I ignored my school work and allowed myself to fail. NaNoWriMo was a form of procrastination I used to avoid confronting all that turmoil in my head.

This year I’m trying really hard to be the best me I can be which includes trying extra hard in school and putting more effort into school than extracurriculars and hobbies.

Thus, I had no time to write, between sleeping, reading, panicking (see ALL that text above), studying, and homeworking.

That Is Why Losing NaNoWriMo Is A Good Thing To Me.

I was focusing on other things, important things. School, which I just stated I gave up in order to do NaNoWriMo last year. There’s this beautiful scene in Glee where Finn states that his mom thought he had too much on his plate, so he gave up homework. That’s basically what I did.

I focused on applying for the two colleges I’m actually interested in attending.

I focused on studying for the SAT though I still don’t think I did nearly enough but too late, I already took it!

I read which is also something that I kind of stopped doing last year. If you look at the majority of my posts last year they were discussions and lists and all that jazz but virtually NO book reviews 😦 much frowny face.

I hung out with friends which I love doing. According to the Myer-Briggs test I have a slight preference towards introversion but I do love going out with friends, talking, walking, watching films, the like.

Why Did I Write This?

Because I didn’t finish Windwitch and needed something to post on Saturday instead, so here’s a Review of myself 🙂

There are probably more of me out there who didn’t get to finish. Whether the panicked, had other commitments, or just straight up forgot. Maybe they’ll see this and think “Hey, I’m not alone!” if they’re like me and feeling a little bad about not winning and being able to post one of those “I Won NaNoWriMo 2016” banners.

Overall

I hope you all didn’t find this post too annoying. Hopefully, I’ll have some reviews coming your way. I don’t want to jinx anything but I’m hoping to finish Windwitch and move on to Carve The Mark, Wayfarer, and History Is All You Left Me, and to have reviews out before 2017.

PEACE!

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2 thoughts on “Discussion: How I Lost NaNoWriMo and Why That’s A Great Thing

  1. Don’t worry about not finishing, it sounds like you got a lot done instead! As far as your story, if you have had it in your head for that long, it is 100% worth working on and making it good enough to publish, regardless of current plot holes. If you need help with anything (your story or otherwise) I’d love to help! I’m sure you’re probably being harder on yourself than you realize 🙂

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  2. I also did NaNoWriMo and did not complete the 50,000 words. As I was doing it, I found I loved the creative process. But I also has so much anxiety over getting my word count done for the day, that I was not enjoying writing as much as before. Also, I wanted to read so many wonderful books, and I was basically giving that up over an artificial deadline.

    I think that NaNoWriMo taught me that I CAN write a book. But to me there is no rush. I want to enjoy this experience, and the rest of my life, too.

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