It was my junior year of high school, the year 2015-2016. I was pretty happy I felt pretty smart. I was doing well on social media, joining and doing stuff with the Witchlands Street Team, my Twitter was doing well and my blog was doing well. On top of that, I was getting a shit ton of ARCs from that bookstore which made me happy and powerful.
At the beginning of the academic year, I had some 2016 ARCs, I’d read them. Every time another book was announced or I found out about it it sounded amazing. There was nothing short of an amazing assortment of books coming out that year and I was ready and hell bent on promoting the fuck out of all of them.
I’ve been pretty vocal that my junior year of high school was a, shall we say, YIKES year. I crashed and I crashed hard. It is literally full or more regrets than anything. The only good thing I can honestly say come out of that year was my sense of fear in my failures which now propels me forward.
One of the many ways in which I failed was reading and promoting 2016 books and for that, I’ll never forgive myself.
On average I don’t read a lot of books. It takes a lot of me to pick up a book and depending on the book I don’t get into it until a few pages in or maybe a few hundred pages in.
But 2016 was by far my worst year. During the academic year, I read like five books that I can think of and I didn’t even like two of them but I felt so compelled to like them like if I didn’t I’d be kicked out of the community that I ignored how I felt and lied.
And then I felt bad that I didn’t read or promote the awesome books that did come out that year.
The Abyss Surrounds Us, now one of my favorite books of all times came out that year and I did virtually nothing to support it.
I adored The Star-Touched Queen and yet I barely did anything to promote it. Yeah, I got excited about it and put it on lists but what about all of the other things I could’ve done? Features, maybe asked Roshani for an interview, played around with the story? I did nothing.
How about Fear The Drowning Deep. I was hyped for that book I had every chance to read it and I just didn’t. There I was at the height of blogging (but dying on the inside) and I didn’t hype this book up like it should’ve been hyped.
Beyond The Red? That book deserves the world! A diverse sci-fi and one of the MC’s has a cat? It deserves the world and I gave it dirt.
So, yeah. I think my biggest regret is hyping up all those books and just doing nothing when I feel like I could have and should have done everything. I had some many and I feel like I could’ve bought those books. I was right in thinking I didn’t have a lot of time with four AP classes but honestly I was like failing all of my classes, ignoring all of them and in all of that ignoring I couldn’t find time to read all of the ARCs was was lucky enough to get, but ignorant and arrogant enough to not realize how lucky I was?
So, yeah. My regret is having all those books at my finger tips and not doing shit with it while being at the height of blogging.
Don’t get me wrong I’ve had high points since then but junior year I was posting all the time, I felt kind of popular, and I was a mess but I was a mess people thought was worth the time.
Now I’m just shit. And it sucks.
Honestly, again, the biggest thing I took away from my junior year was do my academic work. And I’m trying to do that now but you know… I’ve just been dwelling on how bad I was at 2016. All those empty promises of doing something.
I stayed kind of quiet, I think, for most of 2017, there weren’t many books I was actually looking forward to but 2018 I’m hyped.
For 2018, despite now being in college, I’m hoping I can do something. That I can hype up and love on these books as much as possible!
Fingers crossed that I can do better this year.
That’s all for now, please check back later for more content, and as always, thank you for reading!